Some people from my past know me as a writer, not as a web-marketing-consultant-dude. The thing is, writing is hard. I always wanted to be a writer without doing the difficult, lonely work of actually writing. And now that the internet has destroyed my attention span, my writing career is finished. Still, I occasionally jot things down, and there are old clips I don’t entirely hate.

The Obsessions of Charles Willeford
my other blog

Lately I’ve been posting stuff on Get Off My Lawn.

10 Simple Steps
(Published in Rash magazine, October 2000.)

Appalled in Albuquerque
(Published on the McSweeney’s website circa 1999.)

Scenes Involving Baby Monitors
(Rejected by the McSweeney’s website circa 2010.)

I Left My Heart in Seguin
(New York Press, 2003. The story of how I became the first person in history to move from New York City to Seguin, TX. And all for love.)

Bonus MP3: “I Left My Heart in Seguin”